Funny Jokes -Funny Sms, Jokes, comedy, funny jokes, Husband Wife Jokes,

Police arrested a drunkard & asked: Where r u going?

Man: I'm going 2 listen lecture on ill effects of drinking.

Cop: Who'll lecture at midnight?

Man: My wife... 

Law Professor: Which is the most important LAW of Finance for Starting a New Business?

Student: Father-in-Law!

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Before marriage: Roses are red, sky is blue. U r beautiful, I luv u.

After marriage: Roses are dead, I'm blue. U r my headache, one day I'll kill u.

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Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.

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What's the biggest pressure for Pak captain when Pak needs 1 run to win in 8 ovrs, with 5 wickets in hand?

Ya Allah! How to speak English in presentation ceremony?

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Beggar: Saab 12 Rs do na coffee peeni hai.

Man: Lekin coffee to 6 Rs ki hai?

Beggar: Par saab girlfriend bhi to hai.

Man: Bhikari hokar bhi GF banali..

Beggar: Na saab,GF ne Bhikari bana diya!

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Q: Why do women live longer than men?

A: Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does!

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Wats the diff between Complete & Finished?

If you find good wife u r complete otherwise u r finished.

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So many options: Poison, sleeping pills, hanging, jumping from
a building, lying on train tracks, but we chose Marriage, slow and sure!

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Have u heard about the man who threw his wife into a pond of
crocodiles? He's now being harassed by the animal rights for being cruel
to the crocodiles.

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Two men r talking. 1st: I got married coz I was tired of
eating out, cleaning the house, doing the laundry & wearing shabby clothes.

2nd: Amazing, I just got divorced for the very same reasons

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Wife: If I dismiss the cook and make the food myself for a month, what will you pay me?

Husband: I won't have to pay you, you'll get my entire insurance amount.. 

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